Building Relationships
EYFSPSED-R-D003
Forming secure attachments to adults and peers, working cooperatively, taking turns, and showing sensitivity to others' needs.
National Curriculum context
ELG 5 (Building Relationships) addresses the social competencies that underpin all collaborative learning and school wellbeing. By end of Reception, children should work and play cooperatively and take turns with others, form positive attachments to adults and friendships with peers, and show sensitivity to their own and others' needs. The attachment dimension is foundational: the quality of children's relationships with key adults in the EYFS setting directly shapes their sense of safety, their willingness to explore and take risks, and their later capacity to form productive learning relationships. The cooperative play and turn-taking strand connects directly to ELG 3 (impulse control and delayed gratification) — a child who cannot yet regulate their impulses will find turn-taking structurally difficult, not merely a matter of willingness. Sensitivity to others' needs represents an early form of theory of mind and empathy, linking to Communication and Language development (understanding others' perspectives expressed through speech). Building Relationships is also the PSED domain with the most direct consequences for classroom culture: when children feel safe, respected, and connected, the conditions for learning across all seven areas are optimised.
3
Concepts
1
Clusters
2
Prerequisites
3
With difficulty levels
Lesson Clusters
Practice: Forming Secure Attachments, Empathy and Perspective-Taking, Cooperative Play and Turn-Taking
practicePrerequisites
Concepts from other domains that pupils should know before this domain.
Concepts (3)
Cooperative Play and Turn-Taking
skill Specialist TeacherPSED-R-C007
The ability to engage in joint activity with other children, negotiating goals, sharing resources, taking turns, and sustaining the cooperative frame over time. Cooperative play at Reception level involves entering others' play appropriately, adapting one's own play agenda to accommodate a shared narrative or goal, taking turns in both game and conversational contexts, and resolving minor conflicts without escalation. This is the most structurally demanding form of social play, requiring simultaneous management of one's own desires (impulse control), awareness of others' states (empathy), and the shared rules of the activity.
Teaching guidance
Scaffold cooperative play through small groups (2-3 children) rather than large ones, and through role-play contexts with defined roles. Board games with simple rules provide a highly structured scaffold for turn-taking within an emotionally engaging context. Resist the urge to always intervene in social difficulties — allow children to attempt resolution first, intervening with open questions ('What could you do?') before directive suggestions. Explicitly teach and rehearse the language of cooperative play: 'Can I join in?', 'It's your turn', 'Let's take turns', 'I have an idea — what do you think?'
Common misconceptions
Turn-taking in a simple bilateral context (passing a ball) is significantly easier than turn-taking within complex cooperative play (sustaining a shared role-play scenario). Children who can pass the ball without dispute may still struggle with the latter — these are related but distinct capabilities. Also, children who choose solitary or parallel play are not necessarily failing to develop social skills — some children recharge through quieter independent play and this is developmentally normal.
Difficulty levels
Beginning to play alongside other children (parallel play) and sometimes joining in group play with adult support.
Example task
During construction play, observe whether the child plays near others and responds to invitations to join.
Model response: The child builds their own model next to another child. When the other child says 'We could join our roads together', the child agrees and connects them.
Sometimes taking turns, sharing resources and cooperating in small-group play, though disputes still arise frequently.
Example task
During a board game, observe whether the child takes turns and follows the rules.
Model response: The child waits for their turn, rolls the dice and moves their piece. When they land on a bad square, they are disappointed but continue playing. They say 'Your turn!' to the next player.
Working and playing cooperatively, taking turns, negotiating, sharing resources, and showing sensitivity to others' needs in sustained group play.
Example task
Observe a group of children setting up a pretend shop. Note cooperative behaviours.
Model response: The children negotiate roles: 'I'll be the shopkeeper, you be the customer, and you bring the food.' They share the play food, take turns being customers, and adapt when someone wants to change roles: 'OK, you can be the shopkeeper now and I'll make the food.' They sustain this cooperatively for 15+ minutes.
Delivery rationale
EYFS PSED/social concept — requires emotionally attuned adult for social-emotional development.
Forming Secure Attachments
skill Specialist TeacherPSED-R-C008
The capacity to develop trusting, warm, consistent relationships with key adults in the setting and positive peer friendships. Attachment to a key adult in the EYFS context is the primary safe base from which children explore, take risks, and regulate distress. Peer friendships at Reception level are typically dyadic, activity-based, and relatively unstable compared to later childhood friendships — this is developmentally normal. A securely attached child in the EYFS setting will seek proximity to their key person when distressed, use them as a secure base for exploration, and respond to comfort from them.
Teaching guidance
Assign key persons meaningfully and protect key-person time. Warm, genuine, attentive interactions are the foundation — not activities or resources. Be especially attentive to children who show signs of insecure attachment patterns: avoidant (do not seek adults when distressed), anxious/ambivalent (highly distressed on separation, difficult to comfort), or disorganised (show confusing or contradictory attachment behaviours). The latter is a risk indicator and should prompt consultation with the SENCO or designated safeguarding lead. Do not discourage children from forming preferences for particular adults — this is healthy attachment behaviour, not favouritism.
Common misconceptions
Secure attachment is sometimes assumed to mean the child does not show distress at separation. In fact, protest at separation from a familiar carer followed by settling and comfort-seeking from the key person is a sign of secure (not insecure) attachment. Children who show no distress at all in any context may be displaying avoidant patterns that warrant attention.
Difficulty levels
Beginning to show preference for a key adult in the setting, seeking them out for comfort and reassurance.
Example task
At drop-off time, observe whether the child separates from their parent and approaches their key person.
Model response: The child clings briefly to their parent but then goes to their key person when invited, accepting comfort from this familiar adult.
Sometimes using the key adult as a secure base — exploring the setting confidently but returning for reassurance when needed, and beginning to form friendships.
Example task
Observe the child's social behaviour during a new activity (e.g. a visiting storyteller).
Model response: The child is initially cautious but watches from near their key person. After a few minutes, they move closer to the storyteller and join in, glancing back at their key person occasionally. They sit next to a preferred friend.
Building constructive and respectful relationships with staff and peers, showing confidence in new social situations and empathy towards others' feelings.
Example task
A new child joins the class. Observe how the established child responds.
Model response: The child approaches the new child and says: 'Do you want to play with me? This is the water tray — you can use these cups.' They show the new child around and include them in an activity, helping them feel welcome.
Delivery rationale
EYFS PSED/social concept — requires emotionally attuned adult for social-emotional development.
Empathy and Perspective-Taking
skill Specialist TeacherPSED-R-C009
The developing ability to recognise and resonate with another person's emotional state (affective empathy) and to understand that others may have thoughts, feelings, and knowledge that differ from one's own (cognitive empathy / theory of mind). At Reception level, children are completing the shift from egocentrism to an early theory of mind (typically consolidated around age 4). They can understand that a person who hasn't seen something doesn't know about it (false belief task level) and can infer basic emotions from context. Affective empathy — feeling moved by another's distress — often precedes the cognitive capacity to accurately identify its cause.
Teaching guidance
Build perspective-taking explicitly through books, role-play, and structured discussion. Ask 'What do you think she is feeling? Why?' and 'What might he be thinking?' Validate and celebrate spontaneous acts of empathy when you observe them. Story books where the same events are narrated from multiple characters' perspectives are a powerful tool. Be aware that empathy development can be temporarily suppressed by the child's own distress or threat-response — a dysregulated child is not able to access empathy at that moment, and expecting them to do so is developmentally inappropriate. Empathy should never be weaponised ('How do you think that makes her feel?') as a shaming technique.
Common misconceptions
Empathy and sympathy are often confused. Empathy involves resonating with and trying to understand the other's experience; sympathy involves responding from one's own perspective. Children (and adults) often offer solutions ('Here, have my toy') when empathy (sitting with the distress, acknowledging it) is what is needed. Both are appropriate at different times, and children benefit from learning to distinguish them.
Difficulty levels
Beginning to notice when another child is upset, through facial expression or crying, though may not know how to respond.
Example task
When a nearby child is crying, observe whether the child notices and how they respond.
Model response: The child looks at the crying child with concern. They may point and say to an adult: 'He's crying.' They notice but don't yet know how to help.
Sometimes responding to others' emotions with appropriate comfort or concern, and beginning to understand that others may feel differently from them.
Example task
A child falls over in the playground. Observe the response.
Model response: The child goes over and says: 'Are you OK?' They offer to get a teacher or stay with the child. They may offer their own comfort object: 'Do you want to hold my teddy?'
Showing sensitivity to their own and others' needs, considering other people's feelings, and adjusting their behaviour in response to others' emotions.
Example task
During a game, one child keeps losing and is getting upset. Observe the response.
Model response: The child notices their friend is upset and says: 'It's just a game, don't worry. Do you want to play something different?' They may suggest changing the rules to make it fairer, or choosing an activity they know the upset child enjoys. They adjust their own behaviour in response to the other child's emotional state.
Delivery rationale
EYFS PSED/social concept — requires emotionally attuned adult for social-emotional development.